The most common question women new to chastity ask is what type of device to put him in. It has to be comfortable if he is going to live with it on 24/7 and it has to be completely secure and effective if you are going to be happy with it. Unfortunately you will have to prepare yourself for some frustrating trial and error to find the right device and the right fit, because every man’s penis is different.
The chastity device probably needs to be custom fit. Generally, it is important to get him in the smallest cage his penis will fit in while soft so he cannot get an erection in the device. Sure, start with the one that is easy to put on. There’s a good chance it will come off eventually, even without trying. Go smaller, go much smaller, then go even smaller. The problem here will be erection and stimulation. Zero erection is the size you need – literally something as small as your husband’s smallest penis size ever. In no way do you need to worry about a device where the shaft is half an inch shorter than the length of his penis when completely flaccid. Often the original cage ordered turned out to be too wide or too long because of the man’s optimistic measurements or fear of being too confined. If you go with one that’s too big it will be unwieldy, add unnecessary weight and ultimately will be less suited to all-day every-day wear.
- With a small cage, it is impossible to see that a man is wearing a chastity device, unless he is wearing extremely tight trousers. Even if you can see some bulge, nobody will jump to conclusions and think that he’s wearing a chastity device.
- A snug tube will be much more comfortable. A well-fitting cage should have no space for any growth beyond his fully flaccid state; if he can still have an erection, it means the device is too big. This is especially important for night-time comfort as nocturnal erections would pull on the scrotum.
- A short cage has the benefit that the urethra always remains pressed against the opening, making it easier to urinate while standing up. Nevertheless, most men in chastity prefer sitting down as there is no risk of making a mess.
- The cage will tend to hang too low if the base ring is too wide, especially if he has a loose scrotum.
Open vs Closed design
There are open “cage” designs and closed “tube” designs. The tube design has the advantage of restricting any access to the penis and not leaving any sensitive spots available for your husband’s touch. However, it will need to be unlocked occasionally for cleaning and skincare. An open cage design on the other hand enables the wearer to wash all bits of his penis in the shower and it allows the skin to dry after bathing or sweating. For long-time chastity I would therefore recommend an open design as it can be worn indefinitely without any need to be unlocked.
However, uncircumcised men may still require occasional removal of the cage in order to clean underneath the foreskin. If you would like your husband to get circumcised this is a good opportunity to ask him. The surgery itself is done quickly and under local anaesthesia, and it will be healed after around four weeks. Nevertheless, there are millions of uncircumcised men in chastity who report no problems at all.
Chastity devices are available in multiple materials, including stainless steel, titanium, nylon, polycarbonate, resin, and silicone rubber. Steel and titanium are the strongest and most hygienic materials as they don’t absorb any liquids or smells. However, their downside is weight: titanium weighs four times and steel eight times as much as the non-metallic materials.
Metal detectors may spot steel (but not titanium) devices. My husband has flown multiple times with a nylon device he uses specifically for travel, without setting off any alarm at the security checks.
There are different types of locks that can be used in chastity devices.
The most common lock type is a small padlock, which makes a satisfying “click” sound when you lock him and has the further advantage that your husband can lock himself without needing the key. An integrated lock, also called magic locker or keyhole blocker is smaller and hence more discreet, however it has the disadvantage that you will need the key both for unlocking and locking (instead of just for unlocking). A new type of lock called “Click & Lock” combines the advantages of the two: it is an integrated lock that can be locked without the key.
Some chastity devices offer the option of a so-called security screw, which is a uniquely designed screw that locks the device and which only unlocks with a custom key you can’t buy anywhere else. This is another discrete and lightweight option which claims to be more secure than a normal lock that can be picked quite easily.
Bluetooth locks are another option, although not yet available with most chastity devices. The advantage is that you don’t need to carry around a key because you can simply unlock the device with your phone, or even send a one-time code to your locked partner who can then use his phone to unlock the device. The downside is that you need to make sure the battery in the lock is not running empty.
Finally, there are numbered plastic seals. These can be used in lieu of a padlock, but they can only be used once and then need to be cut open with scissors. Each one has a unique printed number on it to prevent undetected tampering. Your husband can easily take the device off but he won’t be able to keep it secret from you. These locks are useful in some situations, for example for men who have to self-lock in long-distance relationships.
While a locked chastity device cannot be completely removed from his body, he will eventually figure out how to pull out his flaccid penis and masturbate behind your back, as many women found out the hard way. Once he has discovered this, chastity is just a game for him. It is not real and he not you is in control. If you feel that chastity no longer seems to be working, maybe your husband has figured out how to secretly have fun on his own. There are four approaches to increase security by preventing undetected pull-out of the penis.
The first and best is to pierce his penis so that a bar or loop can be put through it and locked to the device. He will not be able to pull his penis out unless he wants to rip out the piercing. The usual piercings used for chastity are the Prince Albert and the frenum piercing, both of which are simple to do, quick to heal, and harmless looking. There are chastity devices with a built-in piercing rod, which means that when you take the device off for sex, the piercing is gone as well, and the tiny hole on the underside of his penis is barely noticeable as the skin closes immediately when the piercing is out. A lot of the women I talked to were reluctant initially, but not a single one of them regretted having their husband’s penis pierced. The usual comment from many women was that they were sorry they had wasted time playing around with toy chastity devices.
Additional benefits of a piercing, besides security, are increased comfort and easy urination, as it makes the penis always stay in place. Normally, the penis tends to move a bit in the cage, for example after bending over, exercising, erections, or when his scrotum is loosening and tightening. A piercing makes sure that the tip of his penis is always pressed against the end of the cage as it should, thereby supporting an active, carefree lifestyle without any need to readjust the penis once in a while. For long-term chastity play, a piercing really is the way to go.
If you nevertheless don’t want your husband to be pierced, a device with a urethra plug is the next safest option. If the urethra plug is long enough is it virtually impossible to pull the penis out of the device. And even if he managed it would be absolutely impossible to re-insert the penis without unlocking, so you would know if he masturbated. The downside of this mechanism is that it’s not as quick and easy to put on because you would need to sterilize the plug and use lots of lube up to insert it. Furthermore, there is always a risk of urinary tract infections or urethral injuries.
There are also cage inserts that discourage pull-out of the penis by making it very painful, both available as optional extras to some devices or as an essential component of the chastity device. Basically, these inserts have rough surfaces or pricks that will be very painful when the glans has to go past them in a pull-out attempt. Unfortunately, they may take some time to get used to as the insert can be uncomfortable at first. Furthermore, these inserts are not as effective for uncircumcised men.
Instead of completely preventing pull-out, some devices make it very hard to correctly re-insert the penis. These devices usually work with a small ring that is placed behind the glans before the device is locked. If the penis is pulled out, the glans ring will be left behind in the cage. Putting his penis back into the cage with the glans ring correctly in place is almost impossible without unlocking. Hence, no masturbation will remain undetected.
The most popular type of chastity device by far is the “ball-trap” design, like the ones shown above. While they are not able to prevent pull-out of the unpierced penis, they can’t be removed from the “trapped” testicles without unlocking, hence the name.
There is a special type of chastity device available for pierced men, which only consists of a small cage surrounding the glans. These “glans cap” devices are a very comfortable and discreet option and even allow erections (you need to decide for yourself if you want that). They also offer great security as the piercing prevents any removal of the device.
Finally, you could go for a full belt that goes around the hips and is almost completely masturbation-proof. However, I can’t imagine them to be fully suitable for 24/7 use: Can he do sports without the belt chafing? How can he wash his penis properly? What happens if he gains weight?